Thursday, June 19, 2008

What's Normal?

http://img.dailymail.co.uk/i/pix/2007/08_01/puberty_468x730.jpg


What do you think these girls are thinking about?
Do you remember going through puberty and constantly wondering to yourself, "Are these bodily changes normal?" "Are other girls/boys changing in the same ways that I'm changing?" As they stand in front of the mirror together, comparing each other's bodies, these girls are wondering "What's normal?", "What's going to be accepted in school?" "If I don't look like her, will I be an outsider at school?"
These types of questions are at the root of shame. Shame is feeling like an outsider, not belonging. It is the fear of being disconnected. What do you think these girls need to hear from their moms, dads, and the people that care for them at home?
What would you want them to know so they don't feel unworthy?

Wednesday, June 18, 2008

Let's Understand First

Shame:
Is the intensely painful feeling or believing we are flawed and therefore unworthy of acceptance and belonging.

Empathy:
The skill or ability to tap into our own experiences in order to connect with an experience someone is relating

Shame Resilience:
The ability to recognize shame when we experience it, and move through it in a constructive way that allows us to maintain our authenticity and grow from our experiences.

Authenticity:
Something that we revere in others and strive to maintain in our own lives.

Puberty:
The time of life when a child experiences physical and hormonal changes that mark a transition into adulthood. The child develops secondary sexual characteristics and becomes able to have children. Secondary sexual characteristics include growth of pubic, armpit, and leg hair; breast enlargement; and increased hip width in girls. In boys, they include growth of pubic, face, chest and armpit hair; voice changes; penis and testicle growth, and increased shoulder width.

Information received from www.cancer.gov

Fact or Fiction

Myths

- If a boy has not started puberty by age 13, he should see a doctor because there might be something wrong with his endocrine system.

- You can tell whether a girl has begun menstruating by looking at her.

- Girls should not use tampons until they are grown.

- Adolescent and teenage acne is worsened by eating greasy foods.

- Hormones in milk causes puberty in girls to begin earlier than it did in the past. (The average age at menarche (12.8 years) has not fallen in the past 60 years.)


Facts

- Girls may start puberty any time between the ages of 8 and 13.

- Boys generally begin puberty between 10 and 14.

- The pituitary gland, in the brain, tells the body when to begin puberty.

- Boys often have some breast growth during puberty.

- It is common for boys to have nocturnal emissions at puberty, but it is also healthy not to.

- If you started puberty early, your kids might, too.

- A girl's first period is called menarche.

- There is normally a growth spurt at puberty, often with the hands and feet growing larger first, then the arms and legs, then the rest of the body catching up. Not everyone notices this, but it may explain why some people appear to be rather clumsy around puberty, although in general co-ordination is not affected.

- Men usually have deeper voices than women, because their voice boxes (larynx) grow larger.

- The appearance of pubic hair does not necessarily mean that true puberty has started.

- The isolated development of breasts in girls younger than 6 years old without other changes is most likely benign premature thelarche.

- Breast development is the earliest sign of true puberty and may occur in healthy white girls as early as age 7 and even earlier in African American girls.

- Girls with normal early menarche (age 10) will grow an average of 4 inches more.

- Boys who are distressed by pubertal delay may be treated with low doses of testosterone to accelerate growth and pubertal development without affecting their final height.

A Poem For Puberty

through life, seemed so simple.

then it all started, with just one pimple.

about that time, my voice started changing.

then i told my dad, "you've got some explaining".

he then told me, things must change.

that is when i started, feeling strange.

it's not just me, the girls look great.

i even asked one out on a date.

feeling a little different, the I did before.

this time nervous as i knocked on her door.

she looked so beautiful, her hair so pretty.

her eyes lighting up, like lights in the city.

I held her hand, it sweated a little.

then she blushed, and started to giggle.

not knowing what to do, after all of this.

even thinking about trying, to steal a kiss.

not knowing how to leave, or say goodnight.

not wanting it to end, in sorrow or fight.

I thought as i walked away, it seemed so complex.

I'll wait till i'm older, to worry about sex.

By: mac_daddy2k1