That Hurt

Below are some anonymous stories of individuals who experienced shame around their puberty.


I experienced a lot of shame around puberty. I was one of the first girls at my school to start her period. I was in the 4th grade. I was not ready! I did not want it! I felt like a child that was not ready to let go. I didn’t feel fair! Why did I have to go through this first? I felt alone. I felt ashamed. I think it would have been easier if I knew I was not alone, if I had friends that were going through it at the same time as me. I felt like I had this big secret that I did not want anyone to know.

I remember going to the pediatrician with my mom and younger sister. The doctor asked me some routine questions, all of which I could answer, except for the last question. The doctor asked, “Have you started menstruating?” I thought to myself “what’s that?” “What does that mean?” I was so confused. I looked at my mom for the answer. My mom replied for me and answered “Yes”.

I asked my mom what menstruating means and she said it means period. Obviously my mom knew I started my period, but not my sister. From the moment we left the doctor’s office my sister began teasing me, “Suuz-y wears tampons, Suuz-y wears tampons, Fraan-cis wears tampons”. First of all I did not even wear tampons then; I was way too terrified to stick those things inside me! I was so angry and insecure by what had happened.

~ F. ~


When I was younger I always felt alone and different. I was always was able to find situations that would help reinforce negative beliefs about myself (e.g. I went to a “special school” when I was little or I was held back in kindergarten). When I started growing pubic hair in the third grade, the beliefs about “there’s something wrong with me”, “I am different”, “I really am alone” were once again reinforced.

The good thing about just growing pubic hair was that no one had to know! However, I forgot about going away to summer camp and taking showers where people could see me. I remember coming to this realization just before I went off to Camp Mystic. I wanted to hide the fact that I had pubic hair. I felt a sense of relief when I came up with the idea to get rid of it by shaving it all off. The shaving helped, but it looked kind of funny. I remember hoping that no one at camp would notice.

~ Anonymous ~


I remember being in the 7th grade, and during the last class of the day (math, ugh!), I realized I had bled through my pants, which were very light in color. I didn't want to get up from my seat when class ended because I knew that it was going to be impossible to conceal my bloodstained pants. So I sat there until everyone had left the class and then bolted to the bathroom to avoid the teacher.

As I sat in the bathroom swimming in shame and anxiety, I realized I couldn't go home on the bus because I couldn't subject myself to the humiliation I would endure as I got up from my seat in front of everyone when we arrived at my stop. I waited until I thought the school would be deserted and called my mom in tears.

As I waited for her, I was still tramatized, but was relieved to know that once she came and got me, I would be relatively safe from my peers. I couldn't wait to get home, change clothes and take a shower.

When she picked me up, she was mad and basically told me I'd overreacted and that no one would have noticed. I was stunned and hurt by her reaction, and really didn't have the maturity or skills to process what I was experiencing much less how I was feeling.

~Anonymous~


A female middle school student.

The teacher assigned boys to sit on one side of the room and girls on the other. Since this student tended to talk a lot in class, she had to sit away from her female friends. This meant she sat with the boys on their side of the classroom. This particular event happened during a time when she started to get her menstral cycle so she stayed prepared by keeping feminine products in her purse.

This was before all of the fancy and individual packaging was created. She reached into her purse to pull something out and out came flying a pantiliner. She hadn’t noticed it came out until a boy in the class started yell “Eww what is that?” She quickly picked it up and threw it inside a binder in her desk. The student felt mortified and embarrassed. Luckily, it happened right before the class settled down from changing classes in the hallway. This is a moment she’ll never forget.

~Anonymous~